It is so easy to see dysfunction between you and me, we must free up these tired souls before the sadness kills us both. I tried and tried to let you know, I love you but I’m letting go. It may not last but I don’t know, just don’t know.
Nothing Lasts Forever - Maroon Five
I don’t want to make the same mistakes I did before. And because of this, I have learned how wrong I was before; trying to cover up your lies, trying to always understand you, always giving you another chance whenever you did something wrong. But now, my eyes were finally opened. I’ve seen the wrong, and I don’t want it to happen again.
You don’t know how much I was hurt in that situation, and what did I get from you? Nothing. Maybe this is the reason why that happened. I was hurt, but it was for the better. And what have you thought, that I couldn’t reject you? That whenever you do something wrong, you just apologize and everything’s going to be fine again? Think again. I’m so fed up with your lies and the things that you try to keep from me.
I’m sorry it had to go on like this, I didn’t want this, and maybe you didn’t too.. But these are the consequences of our actions. We both did something wrong in this situation, I know. I’ve realized mine, I don’t know about yours. But I hope that you could give time for yourself to think about everything that has happened.
I’ll always be your friend, but sometimes we just have to distance ourselves from people for them to realize our worth. I know I’ve promised to be there for you whenever you need me, but I can’t be just someone who you would call to be there just to make you feel better. Do you understand me? How about when you don’t need someone to make you feel okay? What am I? I’ll just get ignored. And I’m not stupid enough to play a game like that. I gave you the attention that I wasn’t able to give the others.. when in fact, they deserved it more. I’m sorry. I really am. I don’t regret being your friend, I regret the times that I could have been a better friend to them but I let those opportunities pass for you. And what do I get? Pain. Lies. Things being kept from me. Ha-ha. Way the go.
But still, I want to thank you because if it wasn’t for you, I would never have learned these things. I’m not closing the door for you, I know that all of us should forgive and forget, but maybe.. not now. I know time would heal the pain. And like what they said to me, I should just wait for that time before I let you in again, if that is God’s plan. I hope you don’t regret the decisions you’ve made right now, I know you’re happy. And I know, I will be. But for now, I’ll just enjoy what I have, and try making it up to the people that I’ve lacked giving fair attention and affection. They were there for me in those times when I thought you would be there. You may be given another chance, but you’ll never know when will be the last one, don’t ever waste a chance because it might just lead up to the end. Sacrifices are needed to be done for us to find the better way.
It hurts, but it may be the only way.
(Source: wanderlustshutterbug)
Skyped with Nicole, Jhaennie, and Roy last night! And I felt so happy, I missed you guys sooo much. >:D< If only we could see each other more frequently. A few more days before our busy days start. Looking forward to more Skype-ing with the tropa! I guess this is how we’ll be when college starts. :( I really miss you guuuuys.
(Source: wanderlustshutterbug)
Even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme, out of the doubt that fills my mind.
So I guess this is one of my not-so-good days. I can’t find the right words to explain what I’m feeling or what I’m exactly going through right now, but I’m glad that I was able to cry it over last night and my two of my guy best friends were there to listen to me. It feels so good to have people who can understand you, or even if they don’t, just simply someone who would listen.
Honestly, I find it hard to open up any problem I have with my friends, not that I don’t trust them or anything, but I guess I was so used to being the one who listens to other people’s problem, not talking about my own. Haha. If you were going to ask me, my friends are my comfort zone, just being with them makes me okay. But last night, I guess I was fed up. I was actually feeling okay that night, I really don’t know what happened.. I was doing fine, until I finally absorbed the things that happened. I was trying to fight back the tears so I texted my two friends, and I was glad that they were still awake, it was almost midnight when I texted them.
Everyone at our home was fast asleep, so I turned off my lights and laid on my bed. I told them what I was feeling and what happened, they told me that it was okay to cry if it makes me feel better, and unconsciously, I did. I never really liked crying but this time, it really made me feel better. They made me laugh which was really a great help. One of them even threatened to do something bad to that person who was making me feel that way, but of course it was only a joke. Hahaha. I wouldn’t let it get that far. They gave me pieces of advice that I never thought I’d hear from them. I even told them that I got so used to being the one who gives advice, that it seems so comforting right now to be the one being given one. I’ve never been so thankful for them like last night. It was really unexpected and I’m glad that they’re by my side. They were actually the only two people that popped in my mind once I started to feel bombarded by my thoughts. It felt like I had two big brothers with me when I talked to them, considering that I am an only child. Hahaha.
Right now, I could laugh a bit at what happened last night, but I have to admit that I was really hurt. It was a sudden emotion. A reflex, maybe. I can’t really explain. The pain, it was so real, like it woke me up from a deep sleep, but it’s also like something inside of me shut off. That deep-sinking feeling. And I knew that it’s not going to be the same anymore, ever.. But I’m still hoping that the ‘healing’ process would go on. If it weren’t for the two, maybe I’d be miserable at my best.
I still thank the Lord for giving me this kind of trial. As weird as it sounds, I can already feel the change. I am emotionally stronger now. He gave me this so that the next time I encounter another situation, I know what to do. Our strongest points come out when we are weaken. I chose to stand up, not to let this take over me. I’ll eventually be okay. Maybe even more than okay. It’s something about looking forward into something that would keep you going. Never forget the people who keep you sane at the most insane moments. Haha.
Emotionally stronger and better Day One. :)
(Source: wanderlustshutterbug)
This is downright silly HAHAHAHA
PLENTEHMONEH
LOL. PLENTEH MONEH. =))))))))))
(Source: josephtotepvee)
Been missing a lot of things, and people right now.. Guess the weather’s feeling me. Ha-ha. Hello there, nostalgia. Saw some old photos with my friends, made me quite a bit sad.. I don’t know why. Maybe because we’re about to be ‘officially’ separated when college starts, QC is so far from Cavite and busy schedules ahead that may hinder us from seeing each other frequently, or maybe it’s the fact that some things have changed already.. It just saddens me.
Yeah, it’s an asdfghjkl moment right here. Haha. It’s hard to be helpless about something that you want to fix or just even, simply talk about. It’s not supposed to be this way. I can feel myself changing.. because of these things. I don’t know. It’s like I want to get as far as I can, but there’s this thing that’s pulling me back, to take the risk of trying to fix it. The tension of opposites.
I would want to ask you, is this how it’s supposed to be?
(Source: wanderlustshutterbug)
Hi guys! Click for the Twitter account. :D Wanna meet some course mates (BS LM), too! Haha. Have a blessed day! :)
(Source: wanderlustshutterbug)
I guess this is the whip hand that I’m seeing of moving to college: you can leave things behind. Not in a bad way, though. You know the feeling of having too much thoughts, doubts, and anxiety in your mind that you just want to escape, even for a while. I’m just thinking that college would help my mind ease off the things that are bothering me right now. I wouldn’t be able to see them or hear about them if I chose to, unlike when you’re in the same place or you’re near each other, it’s just simply harder.
Starting a new life would require a lot of strength and adjustments, but I think that focus would help. There’s a tendency that people always look back, and it takes focus and courage to refrain from doing that. The only reason why people find it hard to move on is because they are always thinking of what if there’s a chance, I’m not saying that this only applies to love, but life as general. I know that I’m not that old to speak for every situation that a person goes through, actually no one does, because only the person in the situation it self can do and we live in different perspectives. Maybe we just need to understand and be understood. But we all have to be honest, there’s a lot circumstances that come which requires/tests how well we manage our life, how we move on, how we focus. So sometimes we get weak, and maybe escaping is the temporary solution that we see.
We need to breathe, and rest. We can’t bombard ourselves with situations like these just to say that we are strong. Every person has a weakness. And I guess this is mine. This is the first step, acceptance. It would take effort, yes, but I’m sure that it would be worth it. I won’t waste my time secluding myself with this problem. That’s why I try to look forward to something. You should not let the situation handle or imprison you, you handle the situation.
I always tell myself that when I look back, I’m just going to laugh at whatever I’m going through right now. Things become harder but we become better. A lesson learned from every situation.
(Source: wanderlustshutterbug)
